index.html

HORRIBLE HUMAN BEINGS (homage to Donald Trump, September 24, 2015)

SUDDEN FAMILY DEATH (AUGUST 5, 2012)

Barbara's son, Rick, 47, died in Dallas, from a massive heart attack after biking in the midday heat. He felt faint, was driven to nearby Doctors Hospital, and died in the ER.

This link takes you to related materials, including contents of a memorial/celebration of Rick's life on September 14, 2012.

BARBARA AND I GET MARRIED (JUNE 3, 2012)

After what seemed like thousands of hours of preparation, we had an open house on Saturday (June 2: about 50 attendees) and a wedding on Sunday. Honeymoon: June 5-26 in southern France, Paris and London. This link takes you to photos, videos and documents from the wedding day and honeymoon.

AND LIFE EVOLVES (FEBRUARY, 2012)

A few weeks back, Barbara and I decided to marry. The date is June 3, 2012. Here is Barbara's take on the decision (from a message to a friend of hers):

I think [Richard] would have been content to live together with me forever, not married. But that is not my style or my history. Remember that Irwin [Barbara's late husband] and I had a 47-year marriage that was fulfilling and happy. THAT is my model. Moreover, my model has always included the idea that people live together to "try out" their relationship; if it seems to be working, then they get married--the final commitment. Understanding how important marriage is to me, Richard quickly got with the program.

One of these days I will beef up this web site, especially with accounts of my life with Barbara. For the moment, let me just note that we are having great fun sitting in together on a Yale course on climate change and human evolution, topics that interest both of us greatly (Barbara with a Ph.D. in biology and me with extensive reading in human and cultural evolution).

SIDE NOTE: For those who knew Maxine and me, it may be of interest to know that she and I occasionally communicate (and less occasionally have lunch together) in a most friendly and supportive manner. We agree that despite its demise, we had a relationship that was largely good for us and in which we both grew. Changes I made with her have contributed to my success in developing a strong, loving relationship with Barbara; indeed, I have built on those earlier changes and progressed even farther with Barbara. My hope for Maxine and me is that we both end up better and happier people, with new partners, than we managed to be together.

HAPPY NOTE (ADDED APRIL, 2011)

Last August I met Barbara, and in early March we moved in together in a lovely new house in Hamden, CT. We have committed to spending the rest of our lives together. More will follow, including photos.

April 24, 2010, in response to Arizona's enactment of an anti-immigrant law:

In the spirit of such traditions as Danes wearing the yellow star, "I am Spartacus," "We are all murderers," Freedom Rides, Rosa Parks, multi-racial entry into segregated areas, and other deliberate violation of immoral (by my lights) laws--and (if I understand the law correctly) since cops would HAVE to respond--I offer the following.

If I lived in AZ, I would encourage a campaign in which all of us "legal" immigrants/aliens approach cops (and maybe flag them down in cruisers) and say something like: "I may be an illegal immigrant," "I am an immigrant," "I'm descended from immigrants," followed by, "I expect/demand/challenge you to check my identification." (My personal favorite would be, "I suspect myself of being an immigrant," a kind of Yippie locution.)

Since there may be cops who resent the law, too, it would be judicious to do this in as non-personal a way as possible. I think of anti-Vietnam war demonstrators putting flowers into the gun barrels of soldiers mustered to "protect" against the protesters.

Or maybe such protesters could walk the streets with large signs saying something of similar ilk. (I picture them walking near but not next to each other, as if being ordinary pedestrians out for a stroll.) Or mass with such signs outside or inside a police station or legislative offices or sports stadium or other public place. It would take a large movement, but enough people (probably most likely in cities and campus towns) doing this might actually make a ripple that gets wider attention.

Then there could be freedom riders of non-Arizona residents coming in to do the same things. Advance publicity wouldn't hurt.

One's response to a demand for ID could be varied--civil disobedience (refusal to show it--but have the ACLU's nearest phone number in your pocket; I don't know what the law does to someone who turns out to be "legal" but refuses to cooperate), fumbling for a long time to find an ID (perhaps while apologizing profusely or sequentially presenting multiple IDs while asking, "Will this do?"), whatever. Having someone jotting down badge numbers might be wise (though it could also raise the cop's hackles). Other aspects of the law could be assailable in parallel ways.

Less palatable would be groups of people going up to cops and pointing to strangers, saying, "I suspect that person is an illegal alien." Better would be groups of like-minded people pointing to each other and making the accusation.

SAD NOTE (ADDED JULY, 2009)
In early May, 2009, my romantic relationship with Maxine ended. To help myself let go of this nearly 15-year crucial part of my life, as I come across them I will be deleting most photos of her (not ones where the rest of the photo has useful content) from this web site. I will, however, leave written references to her, since she will always be part of my history.

ON VANITY PUBLISHING DEC. 5, 2007

When I first learned of this some decades ago, I quickly adopted the attitude that anyone who did this was pathetic, desperate, unworthy, and contemptible. If you can’t get a legitimate publisher to handle your work, then you shouldn't be published.

In recent years I became intrigued with the rapid spread of personal web sites and blogs. Surely this was an example of vanity publishing, but it felt benign, so I am now creating my own web site. It represents to me:

At about the age I am now, my father wrote memoirs of his youth that the family has esteemed for its candid information. Ten years ago I interviewed his younger sister and wrote up her memories. My son and his wife have asked me to write at least about my political past. Some family members have been encouraged to write about their lives but have not (yet, at any rate) done so. A personal web site offers a form of autobiography different from a chronological narrative, and that appeals to me.

Why not include other family content like photos or accounts written for special occasions (like my parents' 60th anniversary)?

This is more important to me. Over my adult decades I’ve written fiction, essays, scholarly material, and virtually none of it has been published anywhere. I have a file of rejections. Trapped in my ego, how do I judge what I write that should be publishable, what not? I have heard successful (i.e., published) authors recount how they sent submissions that were rejected dozens of times before acceptance, and how aspiring authors should keep submitting a manuscript regardless of rejections. Years after he published a best seller, one successful (now deceased) novelist decided to send the manuscript out again under a different author's name and title; it was repeatedly rejected.

I have found myself hamstrung over the years by discouragement over not meeting publication standards, never sure whether the rejections were gratuitous or justified, ultimately unable to summon the inner resources to ignore rejections and keep going. In recent days, finally, it has struck me that I can “publish” anything I want according to my own standards, and that is a key part of my rationale for this web site. Regardless of their reception or "objective"** value, it will purge me to place my efforts where people can publicly see them if they choose. Having your own web site is the internet version of vanity publishing. If nothing else, I expect my mother will at least glance over this site.

Not unlike why I act, I can’t escape a truth that publishing, even in this way, is driven in part by wanting friends and strangers—if they'll look at any of my content—to watch me perform. The key to success here, however, as with acting, is not stopping there and merely being self-indulgent but, after admitting uncomfortable truths like this, to perform professionally, as if ego expression isn’t really at issue. Only then does anyone have a shot at performing well.

**"Objectivity" as we normally mean it—the ability to stand outside our own perceptions and see what Kant called things in themselves—is impossible, one of the many practical lessons I gained from my undergraduate major in philosophy. Ultimately, all our beliefs rely on unprovable axioms—"faith." I long thought this obvious to all, but have found that for many (perhaps most) people, including academics, it isn't.